Okay, I admit it: I love the opportunity to be on television. If you’ve ever been with me when a local news camera crew goes by, please accept my apologies now for making you come with me while I chase it down (only to find that there really is no reason for them to include me in their broadcast).

Well, today the cat shelter I volunteer at gave me my big breakthrough. Northwest Afternoon, our local ABC affiliate’s afternoon infotainment show, said they would give the cat shelter a short public service announcement if, in return, we provided 15 people to be audience members on the show. Naturally, I enlisted. Who wouldn’t turn down the chance to sit only feet away from plastic-looking, self-obsessed local celebrities?

The filming was on a Monday, so the audience consisted of me and a bunch of retired or unemployed crazy cat ladies. I’ve stopped asking other volunteers how many cats they have at home because the number is just staggering, and often the subtle stench of litter on their clothing answers the question for me. Anyway, there we were, patiently waiting to be herded into the room where Northwest Afternoon is filmed, when none other but Ken Jennings of Jeopardy! fame walked in. Turns out Jeopardy Jennings used his riches to move to Seattle, and he was one of the guests on the program. This was my lucky day!!! I was quite excited to be in his presence because after he made it big on the game show, I looked him up and gave him a call. I’m not sure what I was going to say, but I thought I’d give him a ring regardless. Unfortunately, the Ken Jennings listing that I called yielded only a recording claiming that it was a different Ken Jennings, and asked if people would please stop calling. Oh, and remember when all the information on Paris Hilton’s phone was leaked out? I called a bunch of those numbers too. Also without success, also without a plan.

After the Ken Jennings sighting, the TV crew ushered us into the largest elevator I had ever seen. The crazy cat ladies marveled over it. I estimated that 500 felines could probably fit in it. When we got out of the elevator, the staff explained to us that they would be filming several segments that would air over various days this week: One with my man Ken, one with a car expert, and one with a doctor who wrote a book about how unrealistic Gray’s Anatomy is. As soon as we were seated in the studio (I pushed my way into the front row), some guy whose job it was to get the audience clapping and whooping at appropriate times explained to us that when he moved his hands, we should clap and whoop. Then he said he needed some volunteers to ask questions to the guests. My hand shot up. I was tempted to stick it out really far and use my other hand to push my arm out even further like you do when you know the answer to a question in second grade, but, shockingly, I didn’t have much competition among other audience members, and Clap-Whoop picked me.

“Okay, you’re going to ask our automotive expert about ways to get better mileage from your car,” he told me. Fine. I could do that. I was [gas] pumped – I was going to use the word “exorbitant” to describe gas prices in my question, I decided. Yes, this will be a jolly good time.

Next thing I know, Clap-Whoop is asking audience members if they want to ask Ken Jennings questions. No fair- I totally would have chosen that over asking a mileage question! The ladies got pretty excited about that and signed up to ask questions such as, “What do you do now that you’re not on Jeopardy!? Do you write wikipedia entries?”

The show started and I drooled a little with envy as my fellow audience members asked Ken Jennings their questions, but at the commercial break, after his taping was over, the show’s hosts allowed us to ask him more questions off-air.

“Where exactly in Seattle do you live?” I asked with a big, innocent smile on my face. I turned up the Chuckles Charm- I didn’t want Ken to think I was stalking him. Because I’m not. Really. I was hoping he might answer me in the “What is North Seattle?” format, but he didn’t.

Next up was the doctor who was out to reveal how wrong Gray’s Anatomy is.

“Who watches the show?” A producer asked. I raised my hand.

“Okay, let’s have you ask her what’s wrong with how Gray’s Anatomy portrays hospitals.”

“But I’m asking a gas question,” I responded. Surely I couldn’t get the word “exorbitant” into my Gray’s Anatomy question.

The producer shrugged and cued the prompter or something and next thing I knew, the show was back on the air and I was stuck asking the stupidest question possible about a fictional TV show.

The guest came on and Whoop-Clap guy moved his arms wildly for us to applaud. The doctor then answered the show’s hosts’ questions about what’s realistic about Gray’s Anatomy. Nice setup. My mind raced through possibilities of questions: Are there any exorbitantly unrealistic aspects of the show? Does Gray’s Anatomy distort the truth about hospitals in an exorbitant fashion?

“And Elizabeth in the audience has a question,” the show’s host, Elissa, who the car expert later called Elise, said.

“Uh- what’s wrong with Gray’s Anatomy?” I asked. Hmmm. That didn’t exactly come out right.

The doctor explained that the show doesn’t show the emotions that doctors have behind closed doors- that they often cry after telling a patient he or she has cancer, or they break down from exhaustion and stress. Actually, this woman looked like she had perhaps been crying all morning. I was real glad I brought that up.

I guess I didn’t woo the producers with my question (or maybe it was just that I should have been wearing more concealer- they tape the show in high-definition), because they cut out all audience questions for the gas expert.

Not exactly the big moment I was hoping for… But at least now I know where Ken Jennings lives.